The Hash-Slinging Slasher
by PassionatelyHiddlestoned
Summary: Sam and Dean (and sometimes Cas) face a sinister force under the sea when their job takes them down to Bikini Bottom. Can they save the Krusty Krab and all of its employees before the legend comes true? Two-shot based on the Spongebob episode: 'Graveyard Shift.' T for language. [slight crack!fic, don't take it too seriously]


**A/N: Don't judge the fic based on its stray from reality. I know that they can't breath underwater, and I know that they wouldn't treat this very normally if they were going under the sea to a place called Bikini Bottom. But it's just for fun, and possibly some laughs. Also, I just started watching Supernatural, so if I get them a little OOC, feel free to point it out to me :) Enjoy! **

_Part One_

Sam and Dean Winchester drove down the highway of Bikini Bottom in their sleek black Chevrolet Impala.

"We got any eye witnesses for this thing?" Dean asked as Metallica blasted through the speakers. "Well, we got two employees of the place who say they saw it at around 3 in the morning," Sam said. Dean looked over at his brother, and their eyes met knowingly. "That's when spirits are most active," Sam said. Dean nodded. "Then it must be legit. We'd better check it out in case though - this could just be a problem for the local authorities."

"I doubt it," Sam said, flicking through his emails, "These people seem pretty shaken." Dean narrowed his eyes and took a turn down the side road that led to the Krusty Krab. "Who wouldn't if a dude with a spatula for a hand showed up in the middle of the night? But still... I've never heard of this legend. What's it called again?" "The Hash-Slinging Slasher." Despite himself, Dean sputtered out a laugh. "I hope the monster's as harmless as the name."

*One day earlier*

"Have you gassed up yet?" Sam called from the passenger's side as Dean put one of his fake credit cards in the beaten up fuel machine. "Almost done. Why, you got somewhere to be college big shot?" Sam chuckled. "What do you think?"

He got out to join his brother. "So who are you today?" He asked, taking the credit card. Dean grinned. "Still Hector. He hasn't expired yet." Sam shook his head as he handed the card back. "It's pure luck that we haven't gotten caught for fraud yet." Dean shrugged. "It wouldn't be the worst thing we've dealt with. We're safe because of our trusty ol' angel helping out."

As if on cue, Castiel appeared by the gas pump. "What are you two doing here? Didn't Sam tell you about the premonition of the situation you need to take care of down south?" Dean turned to Sam, who rubbed the back of his neck. "I was planning on telling him once we got back on the road." Castiel narrowed his eyes. "Well, there's some place called Bikini Bottom, and a few employees of a restaurant down there saw something that had them real spooked." Dean cackled. "Bikini Bottom? Are you sure you understood right?" Castiel looked offended. "I'm not incompetent, you know. Besides, I never make mistakes. I'm an angel." Dean gritted his teeth. "Unless you don't count the time you almost got run over by a bus." Castiel scowled. "That's not fair, it was my first day in San Fransisco."

"Alright, thanks for the prompt Cas," Sam said, patting the angel on the shoulder, "We'd better get going before Hector here gets hungry again." Dean grinned. "No worries bro - I stocked up on snacks at the last county!"

Sam rolled his eyes and shoved his brother in the car. Castiel disappeared, and Dean started the engine. "Bikini Bottom, here we come!" He yelled, and turned up the song 'Cherry Pie" by Warrant and began passionately singing along.

*back to present*

"That it?" Dean asked, peering over the dashboard. "Yup. The Krusty Krab." "Do you know what happened?" "No. The dream ended before I got any real information. All I know is where, and who."

They pulled up beside it, and got out. Someone in a manager's uniform came out. "Hello there fellers! I'm Mr. Crabs, the manager of this restaurant! You lookin to get some lunch?" Sam frowned. "Uh, actually, we're here about the -"

Dean inconspicuously stamped down on Sam's foot, shutting him up. "Yeah, actually we are. We've been on the road for a while, we're pretty hungry." Mr. Crabs smiled. "Well, you've come to the right place! We've got everything from kelp fries to our famous Krabby Patty..." he rambled on as the two followed after him. Sam turned to Dean confusedly, and Dean shook his head. "He most likely doesn't know about it. The witnesses probably think no one will believe them." Sam nodded, and they went in.

"Hello, welcome to the Krusty Krab, can I take your order?" A bored employee asked from the desk. "Yeah, you got any pie?" Sam slapped Dean's arm. "We're not here to eat." "Dude, remember what I said about fun?" "We don't have time!" Dean sighed, and turned back to the employee.

"Actually we're... police officers, and were here about the... report." The employee's eyes widened, and he looked around. "Come back for the night shift." The brothers nodded.

A few hours later, they went back to the squid at the desk. By now, all the employees had left except for the two who worked the nightshift, Spongebob and Squidward.

"Weird names," Dean whispered, and Sam glared at him to be quiet. Spongebob came up to them, bouncing excitedly. "Wow! Are you real police officers?! Can I have your autographs? PLEEEASE?!" Dean chuckled, and Squidward nudged him roughly. "No, Spongebob, they don't have time for that."

Sam cleared his throat. "So, can you tell us what exactly happened last night?" Spongebob looked like he was about to talk, but Squidward said something first. "Well, you wouldn't exactly believe us..." Sam gave a small smile. "Trust me, we'll believe anything you say." Squidward raised his eyebrows, and shrugged.

"Well, it all started when Mr. Crabs aggravatingly extended the Krusty Krab's hours ALL NIGHT, and Spongebob and I were stuck on duty." Spongebob nodded happily, "Can you believe that? WORK AT NIGHT!" They turned their attention back to Squidward.

"Anyway," he continued, "Spongebob had to take the trash out, and at that point, it was around midnight. When he came back in, I got the idea to tell him some fake story I made up to scare him off having to share night duty with me!"

Dean nodded. "So that's when you told him the legend." Squidward nodded. "But the thing is, I just made it up! I didn't know it was..." he gulped, "Real."

Sam looked at Dean. "Some spirits or demons can be awakened from anything, if they hear someone talking about a legend, they can manifest in that form." "You mean like, a shapeshifter? " "Not necessarily. An impression spirit that can mold itself into anything it wants from a legend told, if it's real or not." The conversing brothers turned back to the confused employees. "Uh, when did you say the actual... thing, appeared?"

"First, at 3:00, the lights flickered. Then, the phone rang and no one was there. Then, the bus pulled up, and... HE came out!" Dean nodded. "All aspects of the legend, am I right?" "Yes." "Did you smell sulphur?" "No. But...if I made the story up, then... how did it come to life?"

Sam looked at them. "All that matters is for you two to go somewhere safe, and let us take care of this." "But when can we come back to work?" Spongebob whined. "Soon, little buddy," Dean said," Soon."

When it hit 12:00, they sent the two workers home and took positions in the restaurant. "Hey, why do I have to be the one who mops the floor?" Dean complained from the kitchen. "Because," Sam grinned from the cash register, "You're good at that. Besides, I'm better at watching out for stuff." Dean huffed in protest, but shut up eventually.

At around 2 AM, they were getting bored. "What do you think it is then?" Dean asked. "I don't know for sure. But it seems like it might be an Impression Spirit." "Not a demon?" "No sulphur smell, remember?" "But how are we gonna kill it?" "Well, how do you kill Impression Spirits?" "It says here in Dad's book that you need to say their creation legend in reverse." "Word for word reverse?" "No, just the events of the story backward. That doesn't sound too hard." Sam laughed, "We haven't met one of these things before." "True."

Half an hour passed.

"They don't have pie. What kind of restaurant doesn't have pie?" Dean called from the kitchen. "Chill, I'm sure they have other things. Like Kelp Fries!" Dean made a face. "What do you think I am, a health food nut? I ain't eating no Kelp Fries!" Sam shook his head. "Fussy Eater." Dean turned. "Snobby Prick." "Reckless Asshole." "Party Pooper." "Jerk." "Bitch."

They smiled to themselves as they retreated to their positions.

Finally, the clock struck 3.

"Sooo, where is this thing?" Dean asked. "Shut up and we might find out!" Sam said, looking around. They waited in silence for a while, until they heard a bang in the kitchen. They looked at each other. "Isn't he supposed to show up in a bus?" Sam asked. "Hasty bastard," Dean grinned.

They cautiously made their way to the back, armed with a rock salt gun and a lighter.

*Bang bang* *Rustle Rustle*

"Dude, what the hell would a spirit want in a kitchen?" Dean whispered. Sam just shrugged, and looked on ahead.

*Rustle Rustle* *Bang Bang*

They slowly inched closer and closer to the door, gun at the ready and lighter ready to flame. "Let's get this son of a bitch!" Dean shouted as he loaded his gun, and kicked open the door forcefully.

"AH!" "AAAHHH!" "WHAT'S GOING ON?!" "WHAT?!" "AH!" "AHH!"

"For crying out loud!" Dean said, clenching his jaw, "Stop appearing out of nowhere, Cas!" The angel looked up from his plate of Kelp Fries. "These are very good. Have you tried these?"

Sam smiled, and Dean let out a breathy sigh. "I'm never gonna get used to that." Castiel got up. "Did you get the thing yet?" "No, we thought 'the thing' was you!"

They went silent for a second, creaks sounding throughout the old building. "Jesus, it's like we're in an episode of the freakin' Twilight Zone!" Dean said. Castiel frowned. "I-I don't understand-" Dean just waved him off. "Forget it." Just then, they heard the sound of a bus pulling up by the door, and their faces became grim. "That must be his stop."

They went around the corner to find the legendary bus right outside, fog accumulating around it. After a few seconds, out stepped...

The Hash-Slinging Slasher!


End file.
